It's pronounced "Chwong," dammit.
Almost a year ago I talked about Bill Warren, the crazy California dreamer that was setting out to find the map on the back of the Declaration of Independence body of Osama Bin Laden. His original claim was that he could do it in two weeks. Well, it’s been eleven months, Bill. What do you have to say for yours—what’s that? You found him?
Source:
One time in college my friend Ryan told me that I had to walk away from this guy that was making small talk with us at a party. “He was rapping to ‘Gin and Juice,’ Brandon.” Well that hardly seems like a reason to stop ta—“The edited version.”
To be honest, I don’t even know why they still have edited versions of songs—do people even listen to music on the radio today? If kids are anything like me, they make sure to steal the torrent seed labeled EXPLICIT, because, dammit, I need curse words.
That’s why I’ve posted this version of “Fuck You,” by Cee Lo Green. 1.) Because it’s been so long since I’ve heard the unedited version that I forgot it was “fuck” and not “forget.” 2.) It co-stars one half of the duo that brought America this. 3.) They both genuinely seem so, well, fucking happy to be dropping the F bomb.
On a side note, I’m also amused by the fact that Daryl Hall and his band refused to use the n-word. “Listen guys, we can say ‘fuck,’ but god help us if any of us say, well, you know.”
Oh, and sorry if you get fired for this because I didn’t warn you in time that this is technically NSFW.
Pretty clever? Yes. Would I keep this in my own home?
Absolutely not.
Above, is the video for Canadian pop songstress Carly Rae Jepsen’s single, Call Me Maybe—which up until yesterday, I had thought was titled “Call Me Baby.” You may think the confusion is minor, if not laughable, but I assure you it is not. In fact, it completely calls into question the perpetuation of assigned gender roles in a youth culture that seemingly boasts of turning a blind eye towards anything that could begin to be ascribed with a label or definition.
Either that, or I’m fucking old.
LA-based The Neighbourhood just released their second single and subsequent video, Sweater Weather. It’s good, but it’s also already been picked up by Nylon—the closest thing to an assassination attempt in the world of hipsters. However it also means that the Midwest will be seeing this in about three months.
If you want to know what’ll be going on in Milwaukee in July, go ahead and press play.
I admit, I normally don’t give live action short films the time of day—namely because all the live action short films I’ve seen have been made by terrible, untalented people calling themselves filmmakers. However, Nirvan Mullick is not terrible, nor untalented, and his short film about a 9 year old boy and his cardboard business, called Caine’s Arcade, is a great example of excellent storytelling and how I am a judgmental prick.
I don’t necessarily have a problem with flavored vodkas, I just don’t understand the reasoning. Women, you have cranberry juice to fix the fact that you can’t stomach straight alcohol. Men, you have no excuse. I thought I drew the line when I saw Pearl’s “Wedding Cake” vodka (seriously, just call it “vanilla”), but my head almost exploded when I saw that “premium” vodka maker Van Gogh has introduced a peanut butter and jelly flavor.
Let me first stress that I can’t even begin to understand the reasoning behind a third Men In Black movie. I mean, the entire reasoning behind sequels is the fact that they’re supposed to be secure revenue streams for a studio. Who in their right mind would go see this movie in theaters or buy it on DVD/Blu-Ray (the two most profitable ways a studio can make money off of a film)? I saw MIB2 the same way every other red blooded American did—drunk on my couch at 2 a.m. on TBS. And as with every other MIB movie, there’s a theme song, but this time it’s not by the Fresh Prince, but Latino rap-singer Pitbull.
God fuck us all.
Today, Google gave a first look at their augmented reality glasses, dubbed Project Glass. Unfortunately, judging by the also released PR shot (above), the Android OS doesn’t play well with Hispanics.
Video, after the jump.
I’m getting to the point in my life where things like Family Guy aren’t supposed to be funny anymore (interestingly enough, South Park is still socially acceptable—oh what Tony Awards can do for you). But dammit, I can’t help it. Yes, I know McFarlane’s formulaic storytelling of vague pop-culture reference + cut-away is ridiculous, but just look at the trailer for his new movie, Ted.
Fuck it, if Mark Wahlberg can play as 35 and Mila Kunis’ boyfriend, then I can still get away watching whatever I want.
