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Lady Gaga Hates CS Majors

So apparently Lady Gaga released her new album, Born This Way, earlier this morning. In celebration of the release, Gaga is selling the album, in its entirety, on Amazon for only $0.99. What. A. Bitch.

Now, I know what you’re thinking—“Brandon, Gaga is so generous! She wants to get her music out to the people!”

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

A classic rule in business is that you charge the consumer the maximum amount you can get away with before they start complaining, and quit purchasing your product. I understand that yes, some artists are willing and able to give back to their fans, but they normally go about it through something like a free download. And that’s just of a single song. And only after you’ve joined their mailing list.

99 cents is what you charge for a Baconator® Single, not for what Rolling Stone calls “one of the most anticipated albums of the year.” So why is Lady Gaga charging less than a dollar on the very first day of her album’s release? After almost no thought, I’ve come to this conclusion—Lady Gaga hates computer science majors.

After word got out that she was selling the album at below fire sale pricing, Amazon’s servers got destroyed. I’m sure being the tech giant that they are, Amazon has a formidable server farm system, so anything that can actually cause their system to, in essence, melt down has to be some serious stuff. I can only imagine what Amazon’s build engineers are going through right now, and I guarantee you that they’re even more pissed that the genesis of their headaches stems from a bunch of 15 year olds across the country that have stolen their parents’ credit card numbers. Be strong, Amazon server engineer, and take solace in the fact that I hate that bitch too.